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Artist: Slaughterhouse
Album:  House Rules
Song:   Offshore
Typed by: 

[Intro: Joell Ortiz]
Uh, uh... yeah
I'll just say a little bit Parks

[Joell Ortiz]
They say the tongue is the perfect weapon
All I hang around nowadays is verse perfection
I knew these three niggaz for years but when they each get in that booth they make a first impression
time and time again - I just want 'em to rhyme again
on some fan shit
I used to rock "Boom" in the hoopty on the Van Wyck with my man Vic
Rest his soul, before I had a clue what Joe was like
I used to cop Clues just to hear what Joe would write
Novel used to tell me me and Crooked sounded so alike
An '07 XXL shoot he came over like "I'm Crook," I'm like "Oh aight
Pleasure to meet you brother"
Seven years later I'm like wow, I met my brother on the Freshmen cover
We saw the world together, back of that bus fuckin girls together
Got home and broke up with our girls together
Homie this is special
Y'all rescued me from special forces back home, forced to wear a 38-special
Cause none of 'em jam yet, Summer Jam was cool but we hung in Japan
I don't think y'all niggaz truly understand
I used to think my only way out of the hood was through the number man
Get drunk and pop shit about runnin the can
Damn, a whole lot to look forward to
Papi I was goin through, what e'ry other thorough nigga in my hood was goin through
The G-code I know it's true
You throw at every one of them niggaz before they throw at you
Back then I thought that made me real
Listenin to myself now that shit just gave me chills
Man... cause I'da missed this bus
I mean this private jet, no middle seats cause it's just us
Sheeit~! All of this cause I can spit?
It's crazy how it get when you can say that shit
For the haters bein a bitch like "He ain't makin no grip"
I just bought my lady a whip without a radio hit, bitch
I'd rather talk to you niggaz
Cause really it could be on the way I'm offin you niggaz
Feel me? So let's just leave it at that
Cause if I decide to crumble paper, it ain't to rewrite raps
I got shooters on retainer that'd bring me your medulla in containers
Please be on your cool behavior homie
And let's just leave it at that, I know I said that shit before
But I'm tryin to save y'all from a war

[Interlude: Crooked I]
Yeah, you know how you got a Godmother?
I got a God-grandmother, Attie May Johnson man
I just got the phone call tonight that she, she passed away man
Know'msayin? She went to the other side
Attie May! I still got that Brut cologne you bought for me for my birthday
I love you, let me holla

[Crooked I]
I was openin up a can of spam puttin ketchup on fake meat
Still thankful though cause so many hungry nights I ate sleep
Talkin to my cousin before I dropped him off in Grape Street
He said "Crook, who we gotta kill to get you a Dre beat?
Cause I don't wanna see you on this ratchet shit these niggaz is on
And how come these niggaz don't pick up the phone, for you to get on a song?"
I said "Probably cause I'ma pick 'em apart as soon as I get in the zone
and I definitely didn't condone dick-ridin so I did it alone"
Industry don't want a real nigga to creep in
Fuck it I'ma sneak in
And fuck goin back to that book store I used to sleep in
My homie let me stay on Saturday and Sunday, I used to be homeless like +The Weekend+
Same three outfits switchin them shits 'til the week ends
Drownin in my sorrows drinkin, 'til I'm sinkin in the deep end
Made myself a promise, I'ma be the one in the end
With these rehabilitation bars I'ma clean 'em up with the pen
Then my problems gon' be over and solved
They finally let me in that damn do', now I hope it revolves
Let me out of this motherfucker, too many corny ass, bitch ass
Kiss ass, punk ass, buster ass, fuck ass niggaz
Faggots playin Hide The Salami
This is a snake business my nigga and I ain't the Swami
Naw, this is Crooked, remember?
I rap circles around your favorite MC
While callin George Zimmerman a bitch on cable TV
In a Racially Profiled hoodie usin BET's cypher just to push my agenda
I'm Dominick Wickliffe, I'm James' son
Even though he wore a condom I busted through it I can't forget where I came from
I keep hearin that it's real niggaz in the game
Aight, name some~!
All I know is rap's a circus - you're reachin again
Y'all bleachin your skin, y'all bastards searchin for plastic surgeons
to make sure that all of your facial features are thin
You're turnin hip-hop to pop, you maggots singin again
Just snap your finger and spin, what the fuck you rappin for?
And motherfuck a Grammy, just hand them bitches to Macklemore
I don't need you to tell me that I'm more gifted
than a Capricorn, born before Christmas - get it?
Y'all on some nonsense
And I'm the type to laugh soon as I hear about Donald Sterling's bitch chokin on Magic's Johnson

[Royce Da 5'9"]
Let me get 'em Crook! I'm cool calm collective smooth
I come from usin coupons with a true mom with infectious views
Number one which you honor and respect the rules
I'm 5 feet 9 inches tall, but boy when I'm standin next to dudes
It's like I'm standin on a steppin stool, 'cept when I'm standin with the Wrecking Crew
We can turn the tables if we can just make these records move
I know I know, it's easier said then done but until the day that I'm done and dead
I'll be remembered by more shit bein done than said
Listenin to rap you gon' hear lies told
But not from me and not on this, this one goes out to every bloggin columnist around the globe
I want my rhyme flow solidified in time so
I gotta get on my grind bro
I'm thankful for the success that I have with Em
but honestly he could've sold more records than that, on his own in a blindfold
And all I'm picturin is my daddy with his arms folded
Lookin at me with that look like "That's cool but get your own"
Confidence breeds success when it's spoke on
Then Patrón comes into play, then it's postponed
For whatever reason Shady Records still believes in us
And whatever they see in us, Interscope don't
Comments bein made like "Niggaz old and they pathetic"
Now how many times have we proved niggaz wrong?
And how many niggaz you think gon' come out of them offices and try to show up when we blow up?
Some are gon' even try to take the credit
While we was doin the album the Justice League manager was like
"Them niggaz album ain't never comin out, them niggaz don't even like each other"
Well fuck the Justice League manager
I would tell you to tell him I said it, but talk behind backs is for amateurs
Bitches, fake niggaz and punks
I don't know it all, I just know how to ball and go out and get eight figures in chunks
I'm a fuckin warrior
I'm a true survivor of havin death at your doorstep, drama in your foyer
That's probably why I looked at that bottle like that's euphoria
When you an addict nobody gotta ask if you wanna drink
That habit'll actually ask you for ya
And that'll destroy ya
Take it from a G, they call me a soul survivor
Cause my soul done floated onto the crossroads for change more than coal for drivers
I made my oldest a promise
to keep my balls off the 'net and stay devoted to his momma

[Joe Budden]
Let me get 'em Nickle! Tell me what if this is big as I'm supposed to be?
I'd hate for that to get confirmed, don't take the hope from me
Cause that's a deep threat
I mean I'd like to think that I ain't take a peek at my peak yet, I got my feet wet
In '98 they said I was close to my deathbed
'balmin fluid on my cig' and was a meth head
Was hard back then, ain't have a car back then
Still in on Ma$e had me wishin I had TV's in the headrest
Big's "Suicidal Thoughts" was gettin him through
Would've took my life had I'da known who I was givin in to
Momma screamin "Listen to rules if you gon' live in this roof"
In retrospect, hidden jewel, it helped me get in this booth
Now my notoriety trumpin, how incognito I try to be
Even make my bitches keep it low, they on denial E{?}
I don't trust none of these hoes
Sad part is I'm such a tortured soul I had that thought when I proposed
Suited up, ring in my hand while in my head I'm sayin fuck this bitch
Makes sense that she was thinkin even less of me
Got ruined in my youth, when the first one got the best of me
When she said she'd never leave then she left, fuck y'all expect of me?
That resentment only had me fuckin different bitches different weeks
But most of them was bad, that made it bittersweet
Those are growin pains, call it payin dues
She killed a nigga then birthed one all with the same move
We could hit the hookah spot and do a dinner
But thanks to my baby mother I'll bust anywhere but in her
Cause a baby for her is just a problem I'll be stuck with
Like what gives, so naw I ain't arrogant but my nut is
I'm scarred, happened years ago, I'm still effected
If she suck and a swallow it she'll get high, it's pill infested
500 proof, laced with addict deficiencies
But absent in my son, another owed to inconsistency
Uhh, lookin at all my life's typos
Just tryin to remove the fat, provide the lipo'
Two words for my enemies, die slow
Full time pyros, we do this with our eyes closed

[Outro: Joe Budden]
Word up man, one more time for the half-wits and the simpletons
It go, two words for my enemies, die slow
Full time - fuck it... word
My Slaughter la familia, yahmean?
No matter what we ride, so let's ride