Artist: Sudden Death Album: Brain Dead Song: Couch Potato Typed by: www.suddendeath.org There ain't nothin' to do in my home town So I grab my remote and I plant myself down Suckin' down cheese balls by the pound Gonna watch TV till my brain melts down I got no wife and I got no life But I got my remote so I'm set for the night Never shower so I smell like rotten eggs Cobwebs growin' out the side of my legs 'Cause I haven't gotten up in sixteen years Missin' a show is one of my worst fears My father wants to know what kind of drugs I'm on I don't get up to eat or even go to the john Even if I wanted to I doubt I could Because my legs feel like they're made of petrified wood Here in the same place in the same slouch My butt is fused to the cushion of the couch Dropped out of school in the second grade Got a ten foot screen, got a glass of lemonade Got a jar next to me for when I have to pee This is the way life was meant to be There ain't nothin' to do in my home town So I grab my remote and I plant myself down Suckin' down cheese balls by the pound Gonna watch TV till my brain melts down Rats and roaches run around the room I forgot what it's like to be in any other room I stare at the tube and I never make a sound 'Cause the TV set never lets me down Talk shows, talk shows, all day long With stuff like this, how can I go wrong? Like cross dressin' Nazis who live on Gummy bears And Elvis impersonators singing in their underwear Games, game shows all day and night I live for shows like The Price Is Right I'm still waitin' to see Bob Barker cringe When a fat woman pulls the big wheel off the hinge Wait, what's happening, this has to be a joke Oh, God, no, please, my remote is broke These are brand new batteries I can't believe they blew Now what the hell am I supposed to do? There ain't nothin' to do in my home town So I grab my rerote* and I plant myself down Suckin' down cheese balls by the pound Gonna watch TV till my brain melts down [*rerote, n. (re-ROTE): 1.how a person says "remote" after years of sitting in front of a television due to the brain damage caused by doing so.]