Artist: Starbomb
Album:  The Tryforce
Song:   A Boy and His Boat
Typed by: AZ Lyrics

[Egoraptor (as Link)]
Hey, it's Link. I'm back, and I'm sailing on a ship
[Danny Sexbang (as the King of Red Lions)]
I'm the King of Red Lions!
[Egoraptor]
Yo, I don't give a shit
If there's one thing I've learned from years of saving this land
It's all I really need is a sword and shield in my hand
[Danny Sexbang]
But look over there, that sign says "Beware"!
"A giant pit no one can jump you can't fly through the air"!
You'll need a special item to get through that moat
But what do I know, right? I'm just a fucking boat!
[Egoraptor]
Fuck, alright. Shit, okay
I can maybe pick up one or two things on my way
But as far as I'm concerned, all I need is "sword play"
[Danny Sexbang]
Shut your fucking elf mouth and take my items, okay?

Your quest is long, and the road is tough
The path is dark, you're gonna need a shitload of stuff
No lives are spared, you better be prepared
Moblin fangs and a boomerang
And a cloth to shield that nasty wang!
From Majora's mask to an empty flask
Here's what you need to complete your task!

[Egoraptor]
A bow and arrow, nice, and a skeleton key!
And a second place trophy from a local spelling bee?
A candle with the handle, and a single Velcro sandal
Is this an old court order for a drug related scandal?
[Danny Sexbang]
No...
[Egoraptor]
Hey boat, all these items hurt my back, its a lot!
[Danny Sexbang]
Pop a Tylenol, you bitch, you've got 87 slots!
Here's a hammer that can break any kind of rock that it hits
[Egoraptor]
Oh!
[Danny Sexbang]
And a pair of full-size studio drum kits!
[Egoraptor]
Ugh!

[Danny Sexbang]
A giant used Q-tip
A really small cruise ship
[Egoraptor]
A parent's signature for a Disneyland school trip?!
[Danny Sexbang]
Documents that prove the moon landing was a hoax
[Egoraptor]
And a legendary sacred hidden Golden Tome Of Fart Jokes!

[Danny Sexbang]
This Wind Waker lets you control the air
And this sit maker is a really comfortable reclining chair!
The road is long, you must protect that schlong
Noble stallions and great medallions
You're a bigger deal than plumbing Italians!
Sour-dough, a herd of buffalo
Just a few more things and you're ready to go!

[Egoraptor]
Your grandma's glass eyeball
[Danny Sexbang]
80-pounds of drywall
[Egoraptor]
And every single item from the March issue of Skymall?
[Danny Sexbang]
A vegan pasta maker
[Egoraptor]
The wrestler "Undertaker"?
[Danny Sexbang]
An odd number of crutches and a family of Quakers
[Egoraptor]
A basket of muffins
[Danny Sexbang]
A turkey with the stuffin'
[Egoraptor]
A pillow that needs fluffin'?
[Danny Sexbang]
A society of puffins!
[Egoraptor]
A fresh unopened box of raised-quality potato sacks
[Danny Sexbang]
46 copies of "The Jerk" on Betamax!
[Egoraptor]
It's getting kinda heavy...
[Danny Sexbang]
I don't care, here's a Chevy!
And the Wacky World of Minigolf
Starring Eugene Levy!
[Egoraptor]
Oh my god
I absolutely cannot carry one more thing!
[Danny Sexbang]
Don't you worry, all that's left is this single piece of string

Woah...you see?
This is exactly why I also packed a spinal surgeon
[Egoraptor]
...I hate you, boat