Artist: Professor Elemental
Album:  The Indifference Engine
Song:   Animal Magic
Typed by: ÇexyÇy

[Indistinguishable mumbling, then speaking quietly]
Oh do come in and have a seat

[Rapping]
At last! A visitor, I'm pleased you've returned
I've secrets that you need to learn
Apologies, you had to use complex directions
But I'm currently avoiding arrest and detection
Expelled from the roll of clubs and societies
Been told I lack sanity – even sobriety
So don't lie to me, if you need to leave
I've seen the finest men that need to heave
And distribute their guts across my hallway floor
With disgust, so before we take our tour
Be sure, stay close, extra tight
Geoffery – fetch our guest a pipe!
And prepare the lab, you wretched tyke!
Damned monkey butler, best get this right
Special guests tonight? You're completely certain?
Then step to the right as a draw back the curtain 

Animal magic         [Dogs barking]
This is animal magic [Horse neighs]
Animal magic	     [Lion roars]
This is animal magic [Cow moos]

Now you see
The myriad wonders of nature it's true
Can be understood fully in my home made zoo
By brain swapping with my cranial cutter
I created my apeish butler
And like any explorer forging new boundaries
I found this astounding and took me an owl beak and wings
Grafted to a tortoise shell
And now my Owltoise is doing quite well
Now my Chimpangoat's not the prettiest of creatures
My Donkeypede has the silliest of features
My Lobsteroos don't like their claws
And my Batraffes do fly into doors
But until you've heard the Badgermingo sing
Or fed a tiny fish to a baby Marmoquin
My dear Sir or Madam you've never lived,
It's an impressive gift - so treasure this

Animal magic         [Monkey howls]
This is animal magic [Owl hoots]
Animal magic	     [Sheep baas]
This is animal magic [Bear roars]

Hold for a second- I'm not joking
This cage should not be open
My Camelion might be hiding loose
Oh god, so's the stripy Tiger-goose
And yes they're stunning and yes they're wonderous
But they're cunning and they might come for us
If there's rumpus, you're able to run I trust?
Geoffery- fetch me my blunderbuss
Oh No! Don't tell me you're using this mutiny?
I just wanted unity - what will they do to me?
Trapped. Beheaded. Oddly sickened
They attached my head to the body of a chicken
Run for your life, they're on a mad stampede
Leaving me combined betwixt man and beast

[In a chicken's voice]
BAACLUCK! [beat stops]

[Spoken normally]
So strange, so odd 
In retrospect perhaps a mistake to play God
[Group of chickens cluck]