Artist: mc chris f/ Virgil
Album:  mc chris Is Dead
Song:   Pitchfork
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash

[mc chris]
What, what, where am I?
It's, it's so hot in here, it's just boiling up!
  Welcome (HI) to Hell (thank you)
Oh wow, to Hell! Thats' where I am? It's hot!
  It's hot by definition
This is hell? It's a strong temperature shift
You really gotta warn somebody
before they pop you into that void, it's just
  We - what are you talkin about?
That's all we ever do is warn people
You ever hear of "It's hot as Hell"?
That's kind of an, old phrase (right)
  That's what that means
Right~! Right, you know I have heard that
and you know I disregarded it
I disregarded it, and now I have to pay for it
  Yeah, it's it's really, honestly
  It's more humid, than hot
But this fire, this brimstone, river of lava
This place is
  I know, this is the only place that you will find brimstone
REALLY!
  You can't get that up top
I don't even, I don't even know what that is
  It's usually stones found near the brim
  but anyway, we gotta get going
Oh, you you, gosh! You must be, you must be Satan huh?
  No I'm not, don't, stop..
  First off that's gonna get me in trouble
  Secondly, I'm not that fat to be honest
Really, he's fat!
  He's, yes he's
So there's food down here?
  He eats all the time
There's food down here? There's..
  Well it's all fondue it's all, flammable, kind of food
Ahh! I hate, okay
Well I don't even like sushi
I like to have my fish breaded in stick form
  Everything is blackened, everything is Cajun style down here
Ohhh, gosh I hate that spice
Every, everything's hot
  That's right you know it's not so bad in the shade
But, all the trees are on fire!
How can the..
  Everything's on fire
Everything's on fire, how do you hold, how do you hold stuff?
  Umm, you just put on some flaming gloves, pretty much
Flaming gloves, wow!
  You know what? We gotta go, we gotta, we gotta
  We gotta get to the 7 circles
  It's tortorous, each one of 'em gets worse and worse
  as you get closer to the center of Hell
Oh that sounds horrible, the way you, the way you tell it!
  You know honestly I was uhh, yeah we can pause for a second
  I am one of the original rappers
Original?
  My name is Virgil, I don't know if I said that
  I'm Virgil the Poet, I am +VERY+ famous
Aren't there pressing matters? Don't I need to like, be judged?
  They're, pressing! But you know this here
Just spit a little bit for me, I'll tell you if you got the the chops
  Here's somethin I've been carryin around, I got

[Virgil]
A thousand lambs of mine
roam over the Sicilian hills, new milk fails me not
Summer or winter, I sing as they used to sing
Callin home on the herds of Atticus

[mc chris]
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
You sound like you're uncomfortable, unfamiliar with your own works
Let me just, let me look at this
Is this a printout? Did you just print this out?
  Look I haven't, written these in a thousand years
  I got this off of, Wikpedia
Really
  Honestly

[Virgil]
Oh would you live with me in rude hills, in lowly cots
Shootin the deer and drivin the flock of kids
In the green habiscus

[mc chris]
You could put me in a hot vat of lava
and just, pick my eyeballs or something, anything but
  Lava? Lava's how we "cool down" here
Ohh, gosh
  Yeah, lava's like a cool stream here
It's a cool down
  Yeah yeah
But don't you think somebody should be like
ripping out my guts and eating 'em or something?
  You know what? You don't get to choose your own torture
  Soon as you predict a torture, that that's not gonna happen so..
Really? Can't somebody just
  Really!
pluck out my eyeballs with a fork or
  That is so, old school
Just, I don't know what you guys do down here for fun
Yeah that sounds like a
  Plucking out eyeballs with a fork is like Visine down here
  That's just, that's just nothing
So what, you get stoned and you pluck out your eyeballs with a fork?
  Exactly~! It's like "Oh my eyes are looking red"
  "I should probabaly pluck 'em out"
Pulling 'em out of my skull
  Yeah
Well this sounds like it's not going to be a very enjoyable place to be
  Uh-oh!
But your rhymes are good though!
  Thank you - here let me show you another me
They're they're, they're really
No I don't need to hear, I don't

[Virgil]
Yeah yeah yeah
Ahh hope poor fool, has been my madman
Have let, in the South wind to my flowers
and bore to my crystal ships! (Ugh)
Even the Gods have dwelt in the woods
The grim lattice, follows the wolll-olllf
(Okay, no that's) Pretty good huh?

[mc chris]
Yeah there's promise there
I think what my problem is, is you don't have like a
a hook or somethin to, that you can latch onto
There's nothing there's no
  Really?
You don't have a beat, and umm, y'know
As much as I like your rhymes
I think I'd, much rather have my guts ripped out

[Virgil]
Yeah? See the bullocks dragged home by the yoke
Hangin plow retirin s-s-sun!
Doubles the lengthening shaaaa-dowwwws
(Okay that's, it's uh) You like that?

[mc chris]
I didn't, but, that doesn't y'know
  You didn't like it?
  Well guess what the first circle of Hell is my friend
What?
  Listening to my rhymes!
Oh no, I don't wanna do this, really

[Virgil]
Oh muse on slender reed
We are leaving the country's bounds and sweet fields
We're outcasts, from the country!

[mc chris]
I, I'll pull out, I'll pull out my own guts y'know that's
I'm just gonna grab this fork, OW! It sizzles upon my skin
I'm just gonna stab myself
  Everything sizzles down here
And I'm just gonna pull out my own guts, you keep going

{*chris grunts and groans as he disembowels himself*}

[Virgil]
Grudge you not, rather I marvel
Such unrest, there on all sides of the land
To treat us, is one I scarce can lead
amid the thick hazel

[mc chris]
Ow it's hurting!
Oh it's like spaghetti when I twirl the fork