Artist: mc chris
Album:  Dungeon Master of Ceremonies
Song:   Segue
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash

{*BEEEEEEEEP*}

[Secretary]
Mr. Chandler, mc chris is here to see you
{Brrr, send him in}

[mc chris]
Heyyyyy! Mr. Chandler, what's happenin man?
{Heeeey kid...}
How you doin? I haven't seen you in like forever man
{Yeah yeah...}
What's happening? What you call me here for man?
{Come over here, take a pew, sit down, lets talk some business}
Shiiit man, and you look great!
I haven't seen you in like forever man, you like lost weight
{Thanks}
You, did you get lasik surgery?
{Lasik surgery? No! I got 20-20 vision; are you drunk?!}
Yes, I am drunk, aaaand I'm proud of it
There was a show last night and it was off the hizzle for bliggle
And we did some cocaine and some methamphetamines
by seven o'clock in the mornin I was ridin a whole team of horses
on the ocean, the skin of the water man
{What? What's the matter with you?} What?
{You spendin money we don't have man!
{You gotta remember my fortune's tied to yours!}
{My kids are eatin out of dumpsters - look at this!}
{Look at this thin sliver of a desk I have here}
{They repossessed 80% of my desk! And you know how much I like hot dogs!}
{There's no room for hotdogs on my desk anymore! You see that?}
{What's wrong with you? You gotta start makin mooneeey!}
I'm sorry! I'm tryin the best I possibly can! I'm just one man!
Have you heard the new songs man? You heard the skits?
{Yeah, but the songs stinks! And the skits are costin too much cheddar maaan!}
We, we need those skits they break up the monotony of the music
and people come to exp...
{I don't get the whole skit thing, frankly they're not funny
{They're NOT funny} It's funny aaaand people love 'em
{It's just references; who's getting these references?}
A lot of people are! Everybody gets
when you hear something you've heard before that's comedyyyy!
{No, that's not comedy}
{The songs you're writing now are garbage - everybody hates them}
What are you talkin about? They're hilarious!
{You gotta get back to your roots}
{What was that song everybody liked?} "Hijack?"
{No! The song, that everybody liked}
{It was popular. People quoted it} "Tussin"
{Tussin?! No! What the hell is Tussin?}
{It was the song about the guy from Star Wars in his car...}
"Fett's Vette" - "Fett's Vette"
{No, it was the bounty hunter from Star Wars in his...}
Yeah, it's "Fett's Vette" Mr. Chandler!
{No, it was that guy, he was a bounty hunter, he was in Star Wars...}
Mr. Chandler! It's "Fett's Vette!" Listen to me! Look at me!
Look at me in the eyes! "It's Fett's Vette!"
{What was it?} "Fett's Vette!"
{Yeah, Fett's Vette, that's it}
{You gotta write more songs like Fett's Vette}
{Come on, there were like twelve bounty hunters on that super star destroyer}
Ahhh! Come on Mr. Chandler it's played out! You can't ask me to do this!
{It's not played out, what am I tellin you here?
{You gotta write more songs about bounty hunters from Star Wars, in vehicles}
{Like, I can't believe I'm comin up with this for ya}
{Uhh, uhh, "Zuckuss' Prius" or uuuhh, "IG-88's '57 Chevy"}
Awwhh Mr. Chandler {"Dengar's Dump Truck!"} No!
{They are great ideas, listen}
{If you put "Bossk on a Segway," you gonna sell records!}
{Now let me cleverly use that to segue to my next point to you}
{which is that you gotta get out on the red carpet!}
I get out on the red carpet all the time!
Me... I ate my girls last night! Yum!
{No! I'm not talkin about givin cunnilingus while a woman is menstruating}
{I'm talkin about gettin out there, shakin people's hands}
{I'm talkin about gettin the name out there!}
{Get into some car accidents with Lindsey Lohan!}
I can't into a car accident they won't let me drive a car cause I have a pegleg
{Keep fightin me, see where it gets ya - get out there!}
{Get to the YouTube awards! Get to the internet Emmies!} They have those?
{I don't know if they have those! Get on the internet, find out!
{And if they exist, go to them! You gotta get out and impress the flesh!
Ah!

[Secretary]
Mr. Chandler, those two assassins you hired to kill mc chris on the red carpet
so as to cement his icon status and increase record sales are on line two

{Oooh, busted... uhhh, I gotta take this call}
Uhhhh okay Mr. Chandler, I guess I'll just head on out!
{Hey kid!}
Yeah, Mr. Chandler?
{Get the fuck out of my office!}
Uhhh okay Mr. Chandler