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Artist: mc chris
Album:  Dungeon Master of Ceremonies
Song:   Segue
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash


Mr. Chandler, mc chris is here to see you
{Brrr, send him in}

[mc chris]
Heyyyyy! Mr. Chandler, what's happenin man?
{Heeeey kid...}
How you doin? I haven't seen you in like forever man
{Yeah yeah...}
What's happening? What you call me here for man?
{Come over here, take a pew, sit down, lets talk some business}
Shiiit man, and you look great!
I haven't seen you in like forever man, you like lost weight
You, did you get lasik surgery?
{Lasik surgery? No! I got 20-20 vision; are you drunk?!}
Yes, I am drunk, aaaand I'm proud of it
There was a show last night and it was off the hizzle for bliggle
And we did some cocaine and some methamphetamines
by seven o'clock in the mornin I was ridin a whole team of horses
on the ocean, the skin of the water man
{What? What's the matter with you?} What?
{You spendin money we don't have man!
{You gotta remember my fortune's tied to yours!}
{My kids are eatin out of dumpsters - look at this!}
{Look at this thin sliver of a desk I have here}
{They repossessed 80% of my desk! And you know how much I like hot dogs!}
{There's no room for hotdogs on my desk anymore! You see that?}
{What's wrong with you? You gotta start makin mooneeey!}
I'm sorry! I'm tryin the best I possibly can! I'm just one man!
Have you heard the new songs man? You heard the skits?
{Yeah, but the songs stinks! And the skits are costin too much cheddar maaan!}
We, we need those skits they break up the monotony of the music
and people come to exp...
{I don't get the whole skit thing, frankly they're not funny
{They're NOT funny} It's funny aaaand people love 'em
{It's just references; who's getting these references?}
A lot of people are! Everybody gets
when you hear something you've heard before that's comedyyyy!
{No, that's not comedy}
{The songs you're writing now are garbage - everybody hates them}
What are you talkin about? They're hilarious!
{You gotta get back to your roots}
{What was that song everybody liked?} "Hijack?"
{No! The song, that everybody liked}
{It was popular. People quoted it} "Tussin"
{Tussin?! No! What the hell is Tussin?}
{It was the song about the guy from Star Wars in his car...}
"Fett's Vette" - "Fett's Vette"
{No, it was the bounty hunter from Star Wars in his...}
Yeah, it's "Fett's Vette" Mr. Chandler!
{No, it was that guy, he was a bounty hunter, he was in Star Wars...}
Mr. Chandler! It's "Fett's Vette!" Listen to me! Look at me!
Look at me in the eyes! "It's Fett's Vette!"
{What was it?} "Fett's Vette!"
{Yeah, Fett's Vette, that's it}
{You gotta write more songs like Fett's Vette}
{Come on, there were like twelve bounty hunters on that super star destroyer}
Ahhh! Come on Mr. Chandler it's played out! You can't ask me to do this!
{It's not played out, what am I tellin you here?
{You gotta write more songs about bounty hunters from Star Wars, in vehicles}
{Like, I can't believe I'm comin up with this for ya}
{Uhh, uhh, "Zuckuss' Prius" or uuuhh, "IG-88's '57 Chevy"}
Awwhh Mr. Chandler {"Dengar's Dump Truck!"} No!
{They are great ideas, listen}
{If you put "Bossk on a Segway," you gonna sell records!}
{Now let me cleverly use that to segue to my next point to you}
{which is that you gotta get out on the red carpet!}
I get out on the red carpet all the time!
Me... I ate my girls last night! Yum!
{No! I'm not talkin about givin cunnilingus while a woman is menstruating}
{I'm talkin about gettin out there, shakin people's hands}
{I'm talkin about gettin the name out there!}
{Get into some car accidents with Lindsey Lohan!}
I can't into a car accident they won't let me drive a car cause I have a pegleg
{Keep fightin me, see where it gets ya - get out there!}
{Get to the YouTube awards! Get to the internet Emmies!} They have those?
{I don't know if they have those! Get on the internet, find out!
{And if they exist, go to them! You gotta get out and impress the flesh!

Mr. Chandler, those two assassins you hired to kill mc chris on the red carpet
so as to cement his icon status and increase record sales are on line two

{Oooh, busted... uhhh, I gotta take this call}
Uhhhh okay Mr. Chandler, I guess I'll just head on out!
{Hey kid!}
Yeah, Mr. Chandler?
{Get the fuck out of my office!}
Uhhh okay Mr. Chandler