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Artist: Kool Moe Dee f/ Doug E. Fresh, The Treacherous Three
Album:  The Greatest Hits
Song:   Christmas Rap
Typed by:

[Kool Moe Dee]
Ho! Ho Ho - Ho Ho Ho, open up your door
I'm Santa Claus and guess what y'all
I got something to show
I came to bring some Christmas Spirit
I got a big bag now guess what's in it
Something for the rich, and something for the poor
So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho

[L.A. Sunshine]
Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas my foot
I'ma tell you what Santa really put
Under my so-called tree but in reality
Looks like nothing but a decorated pole to me

[Special K]
Man, you talk about a tree it makes wonder
Cause I never had a tree to put anything under
If I ever did luck up, and get a tree
There was never anything under it for me

[Kool Moe Dee]
Man, you all should be glad that I didn't quit
Cause I'm getting too old for this Santa Claus shit
You think I'm getting presents; made for free
I gotta pay them elves and ain't nobody paying me

[L.A. Sunshine]
You big fat whale, you might as well quit
Cause I can name a hundred presents that I didn't get
And if I did get a present, it would be a hand-me-down
Yo, I got this for Christmas, now how that sound?

[Special K]
It sounds good to me, cause I'm about to freeze
You wanna see something, look at the bottom of these
Me and brothers can't go out, at the same time
Cause a coat that's theirs, is a coat that's mine

[Kool Moe Dee]
Man I know one thing; y'all better get off my neck
And wait 'til you get your welfare check
Go on down to the office and stand on the line
Better hurry up, see, I got mine!

[Chorus: Kool Moe Dee]
Jingle, Jangle, Jingle for the poor
And once you get your welfare check
Y'all can kiss my mistletoe
Ho Ho Ho, Ho Ho Ho

[L.A. Sunshine]
That's why the presents keep getting mixed up
Cause year after year you keep fucking up
And now I know why cause you're always drunk
Instead of G.I. Joe, you send me this junk

[Special K]
That ain't a G.I. Joe that's a G.I. jerk
With a Kung Fu grip that don't even work
So all I did was just put him away
Cause my G.I. Joe, looked G.I. gay

[Kool Moe Dee]
That's why you don't get presents now cause you're just ingrates
If the G.I. Joe is gay what difference does it make
After all he's just a doll ain't too much he can do
If you ask me boy, I ain't to sure about you

[L.A. Sunshine]
Listen Bloato; with your big fat suit
Next time say no don't send no substitute
Because I asked you for a beatbox and you know what I got?
Doug E. Fresh, you know that kid from down the block

[Break: Doug E. Fresh]

[Special K]
For a facsimile we must admit
Doug E. Fresh is good and made a perfect fit
He's the only reason why we weren't totally mad
Without Doug E. our Christmas would've been really sad

[L.A. Sunshine & Special K]
We'll sing silent night and jingle bells
And all those Christmas rhymes
Cause nobody gives a shit about your reindeer and hard times
You just Jingle and Jangle and hang out with the poor (Yep!)
And when you get your welfare check, you might rent them by the store

[Kool Moe Dee]
Well, let's get Doug E. Fresh and Magnificent Force
And head on out the door
And leave these party people sing the Jingle, Jangle for the poor
Sing! Jingle, jangle, a jingle jangle with the poor
Jingle, jangle, jingle with the poor
Jingle, jangle, a jingle jangle with the poor (Ho Ho Ho)
Jingle, jangle, jingle with the poor