Artist: Eminem f/ Kon Artis Album: Westwood (BBC Radio 1) Song: Tim Westwood Freestyle Typed by: email@example.com [Eminem] Yo blast me off, Tim! Blast me off, son! Blastin' off right now, son! I wasn't born mean, I was pushed to treachery I walk the streets lookin' for some puss to fetch me I'm like a veggie, brain is turned to mush I'm edgy Edgy enough to give Reggie Bush a wedgie If he don't gimme kin, things could get messy So pass that ass to me let me squish the left cheek And press against the right one till its smushed against me And leave a dead body in the woods to MC with the Christopher Reeves beef We started out on the wrong foot, or should I say fake leg made out of wood I shouldn't, yes I should Riding through the hood, I'm chillin' with Westwood I'm quite mellow, a white fellow My pee is bright yellow, I like Jello, I'm like hello To a cute little dyke on the mic I'm kinda like... [Eminem] Me and Westwood blastin' off, jackin' off In a pair of acid washed bumpin' Asher Roth Cruisin' grassy 'till I damn near crash the car Tryna smash 'em off in the dash, hit the overpass, went off Over the bridge into oncoming traffic Cause a massive forty two car pile-up, not a scratch at all Hopped up holdin' a axe and saw Jason mask is off when my face is plastered in tobasco sauce Spittin' flames, kickin' fire out ur ass you little - You can pass it on, I'm battery acid dog You don't wanna get my ass ticked off I'm harder than playing basketball when I'm going through crack withdrawal Dick so big it's like elastic, I tie it in a knot and it looks like Mr. Fantastic Crossed the path of Plastic man with a drastic force...Put my penis on classic sports [Eminem] Once again it's the sinister, cynical, minister Shady Kryptonite the Superman, he's a Dennis to Amy Administer of the pain, just finish, cover the paint And muffle the fumes like it was nothin' because it ain't Anything in his way, his enemies he just slays His venom he spray reaches like beads of energy rays Menacing stares, he glares making the hairs all on the back of yah neck stand Like dracula yep, spectacular rep, he's a tarantula, gargantuan Yah, Angela so I command yah to start dancin' Part Manson, part Hannibal, part mechanical Sharp,throwing animal parts at Scarlett Johansen Enter my gas chamber, yah gangsta? My ass He's got his fangs to your neck, he's set to strangle ya ass, hater You're facin' a task greater, he's chasin' your ass He's got his face in a mask, your blood stains on his glass table I'm checking the exposure, a full dose of me exposing myself locked inside of a cozy hotel posing With or without clothing, next to the decomposing bodies eroding while I'm dozing off overdosing Windows opening-shutting, doors opening-closing I think there's a ghost Too much hydrocordone on coating I was only 'sposed to swallow a half, I took the whole thing I'm not joking, I think I just snorted my nose ring I need a drink, I'm standing over the sink posing Myself, self-loathing, cause I'm on a brink, postally I don't wanna think this will make everything rosy Beverly sings, scream while I'm severing three toesies Totally frozen while I close in, I'm yodelling "Rosey, won't you come out to play?" A nuisance, wasting time, cutting and pasting headlines in the papers Making shrines of my crimes and capers My words are whirlwinds, I murder my girlfriends Go to Europe and put nervines in my syrop and stirred 'em You never heard 'em like this, so don't encourage him The neurosurgeon, coke mirrors, I'm lyrics worse than The kinda person to get Katie Couric to cursin' Eighty spirits of ladies cause Shady murdered the virgins Crazy, turn him, convinced that he emerged, took over the world And reeled in all the children, lured 'em into the building and killed 'em Buried 'em in the mulch and mildew and he will do what he feels And still can spit, drawn to gold like Rumplestilskin Cotton to silk, Motrin to Tylenol 3 pills, the Real Slim Shady's entered the buildin' There's nothing but crumbled leaves and tumbleweeds up in this bitch, Mildrid He's ill wit it, he still shouldn't be heeled There's no one as sick as he MC's will get freakasied on the grill then [Eminem] You wanna start with the hook first? You wanna start with the..? Oh.. I have no idea what I'm doing, I have no idea what I'm doing, but Everybody get up, sit up, Christopher They're miserable without you, Superman is a- Live and he's flowin like the Mystic River Girl don't act like you've never been kissed before One, two, three, four Five, six, this uh Rhyme is about to hit you right in the kisser How did anybody ever find me I disa- Peared I was hiding in Freeway's beard, just a Hop, skip and a jump from my skin, gushin' Nails into my face that I been pushin' Hellraiser, my face is my pincushion It's like when I'm on the mic I can squish a Sucka like a vicegrip, my pin put ya In the slaughterhouse cause your style's been butchered I'll spin chainsaw, take off like the blades on, my brains on Hyperdrive, someone put the breaks on [Eminem & Kon Artis] Here's a smidget, a midget to get your digits, Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slippin' on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slippin' on my swag juice, my swag juice Now Here's a smidget, a midget to get your digits, Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slippin' on my swag juice, my swag juice [Eminem] ...Cause he gets as busy as a Bee baby you could throw a frisbee in a blizzard He'll catch it in his teeth, what is he? He's a wizard Standing in the disco with a disco biscuit And I'm pretty sure it isn't biscwit, is it? Now baby don't forget to bring your lipstick with ya I want the kiss before I blow this bitch to smitha- Reens, get the guillotines, this is a situ- Ation that's critical as Dre spins his, uh Turn tables and he cuts the record like a scissor Checka-chicky-checka-chicky-checka-checka-chicka Who wreck it in a second tell me what the heck is sicker Wait a minute I just dropped my necklace in the liquor Now baby just to make a little breakfast and it's six o- Clock in the morning unless you want to get some dessert [Eminem & Kon Artis] Here's a smidget, a midget to get your digits, Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slippin' on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slippin' on my swag juice, my swag juice I said Here's a smidget, a midget to get your digits, Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slippin' on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slippin' on my swag, my swag juice [Eminem] Ayo, just so everybody knows... That was a hook we made on the way to the radio station And we were trying to get it right so we may have fucked it up a couple times or whatever But, this is what we were trying to like work out before we came here Especially for Westwood, man! ESPECIALLY for you homie!