Artist: Eminem
Album:  Campaign Speech {S}
Song:   Campaign Speech
Typed by: Nickolye16@aol.com 

[Eminem]
Jumped out of the second floor of a record store with a Treacherous Four
cassette and a cassette recorder in Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis of a legend growin like an expert swordsman
From the Hessian war and, hence the origin of the Headless Horseman
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors and sexual torture
kits kept in a separate storage bin, excellent boyfriend
Use intercourse to settle scores with women who have vendettas towards men
Dickhead is forced in, 'til there's shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they're only bein fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins, pregnant whores can, get abortions
Fetish for stickin metal forks in, self-absorption
Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor
A predator, I'm headed for competitors
Better warn 'em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals
I +make up+ for in metaphors like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus, yes of course
A mess of warrants, you want some? Come and get some boys!
I'm givin Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course
on excessive force and pressure points
And dressin George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange
dress and four-inch heels to address the court
with a bull's-eye on his back, his whole chest and torso
are left on the doorsteps of Trayvon's dad as a present for him!
In my present form I'm Desert Storm
Appetite for destruction there's no suppressant for
Aggressive, forceful and less remorseful in every morsel
Unpleasant, horrible; hello gorgeous
The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus
Met a contortionist, said "When you wanna get sexual?"
She said "However I fit in your schedule, I'm flexible"
Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach
in the back in +Daisy Dukes+ with the hazards on, at a traffic stop
gettin harassed, sign an autograph for this asshole cop's
daughter, laugh cause I called her a brat on it
He spat on it and brought it back lookin half in shock
Had a heart attack and dropped dead
Started fallin back with it and got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock!
One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch
Crack front axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff
Pulled tabasco sauce out of my satchel, knocked over a fisherman's tacklebox
and {*crash*} asked if they had a laugh-in-stock

That was fuckin stupid

You got it twisted, all cause I offered this bitch
a doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic
Bitch, get to massagin this dick
Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick
Got a shoppin list for you to run some odds and ends with
It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with
She's non-existent
Robin Thicke with a throbbin dick on some suave and slick shit
But I shout derogatives at
bitches like fuckin missile launchers, misfit, blond and nitwit
Like I've gone ballistic with a frostin tip kit
Screamed "I hate blondes" and became one, I'm optimistic
Love to start shit, shovin Clark Kent's undergarments
in the glove compartment of the bucket, bumpin Bubba Sparxxx
I'm double parkin up at Targets, trouble causer, double crosser
Shadiest motherfucker you'll ever come across
Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults, a
couple lawsuits, enough to cause a, stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan results as, Rainman's is, somethin's off
But when Dustin Hoffman's dressin up in your mummy costume
on stage dancin to "Brain Damage," what's the problem?
Nothin's wrong the, name brand is, back to reclaim status
Run the faucet, I'ma dunk a bunch of Trump supporters underwater
Snuck up on 'em in Ray-Bans in a gray van with a spray tan
It's a wrap like an ACE bandage, don't-give-a-fuck persona
To my last DNA strand, E&J in the waistband
At the VMAs with the stagehand, she wants kielbasa
Pre-arrange an escape plan, three-inch blade on point like a See-and-Say
Consider me a dangerous man but you should be afraid of this dang candidate
You say Trump don't kiss ass like a puppet
Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin
And that's what you wanted, a fuckin loose cannon who's blunt
with his hand on the button who doesn't have to answer to no one

Great idea~!

If I was president, gettin off is
the first order of business once I get in office
Second thing that'll make me happy's, walkin up to Uncle Sam
Naked, laughing, dick cupped in hand
Screamin "Fuck safe sex!"
Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him
Tell Congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned - and make it snappy
Addiction to friction and static, addict who can't escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon, but as fate would have it
I walked up in Major Magics
Dressed as the maintenance man in a laser tag vest and a racin jacket
With a gauge to blast it and sped away in the station wagon
Stacey Dash's and Casey Anthony's crazy asses
in the back seat throwin Stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the passenger seat, unfasten the safety latches
and slam on the brakes in traffic
so hard I snapped the relocation brackets
for the monster tires, finna get a murder case and catch it
like you threw it at me encased in plastic!

And send Dylann Roof through the windshield
of the Benz until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin
Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin's peelin
And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar
Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder
Knock it into the upper peninsula, you wanna go against 'zilla?
The Rap God, when will I quit? Never been realer
The instiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt whose pen's iller
than Prince in a chinchilla or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer, avenge syllable binge, fill a syringe 'til I
draw first blood, even pop shit on my pop shit, and it's popular
Couldn't be more, awkwarder, cause your innocence I robbed you of
It's my fingers that got stuck up
Taught ya ta, not give a, slapstick, hockey puck
The broad hunter with the sawed-off like an arm when it's lopped off of ya
But I'm not gonna get the shotgun or Glock, I'ma opt for the ox
Cause I'm into objects that are sharp when I shop
and it's not a shock I'm such an obnoxious fucker
The Rock Hudson of rock cause who woulda thought this much of a cocksucker
to go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with the BOX cutter!
... That was for 50
Little slap on the wrist be warned, I'm unravelin quickly
My squabbles, I'm grappling with, your time travelling with me
Try and follow, as I wobble - relapse into history
with a flask of the whiskey, tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to Chris Reeve's spine column
That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn't havin to get these rhymes off 'em
But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles
And why I haven't come back on these faggots who diss me
is more of a spectacular mystery than a fuckin Agatha Christie CRIME novel!

But my patience is wearing thin
Swear I been contemplatin rubbin shit in your face 'til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen
and never appear again if you actually had fuckin careers to END!
But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer 'em
in that direction and forget my ideas for them
Molly I'm gone off you, man light some kush
You're my +First Take+, I'll nail you, can't lie I gush
If I won you over you would be the grand prize, I'm entranced by your looks
Come and give the Shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can like some Anheuser Busch
Jeans too small least three pant sizes, tush
mushed against your damn side, your puss and thighs are squished
What kind of attire's that? I'm ready to be rode, psychopath
Bet you we'll/wheel get it poppin like a flat
Light the match to ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper Chapmans might just have to pick-et me, like a scab
Hard to describe in fact, startling violent perhaps
are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren't really surprised at that, but as far as these lines I rap
and these bars wouldn't dial it back if I star 69'ed the TRACK!

Why am I such a dick?