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Artist: Eminem
Album:  The Marshall Mathers LP 2
Song:   Brainless
Typed by: 

[Intro: various audio clips]
"Or Eminem has a full line of chainsaws"
"Eminem, Eminem, Eminem, Eminem, Eminem, Em-in-em"
"Marshall Mathers, Eminem, the rapper Eminem"

{*sample taken from Batman & Robin, a comic book/record combo*}
"Who can say for sure?
 Perhaps a frontal lobotomy would be the answer.
 If science could operate on this distorted brain and put it to good use
 society would reap a great benefit."

I walk around like a space cadet, place your bets
Who's likely to become a serial killer? Case of Tourette's
Fuck, fuck fuck, can't take the stress
I make a mess as the day progresses
Angry and take it out on the neighbor's hedges
Like "This is how I'll cut your face up bitches with these hedge trimmin scissors with razor edges"
Imagination's dangerous, it's the only way to escape this mess
and make the best of this situation, I guess
Cause I feel like a little bitch, this predicament's
despicable, I'm sick of just gettin pushed, it's ridiculous
I look like a freakin wuss, a pussy, this kid just took
my stick of licorice and threw my sticker books in a picker bush
I wanna kick his tush, but I was 6 and shook
This fucker was 12 and was six-foot with a vicious hook
He hit me, I fell, I got back up, all I did was book
Now there's usin your head - momma always said!

[Chorus: Eminem]
Momma always said, "If you had a brain you'd be dangerous
A brain you'd be dangerous"
I'ma prove you wrong, momma I'ma grow one day to be famous
And I'ma be a pain in the anus
I'ma be the bomb, I'ma use my head as a weapon
Find a way to escape this insaneness
Momma always said, "Son, if you had a brain you'd be dangerous"
Guess it pays to be brainless

Fast forward some years later, a teenager, this is a fun, sweet
I just got jumped twice in one week, it's complete
It's usually once a month, this is some feat
I've accomplished, they've stomped me into the mud, gee for what reason? You stumped me
But how do you get the shit beat out of you, beat down and be upbeat
when you don't have no-thing?
No valid shot at life, chance to make it or succeed
Cause you're doomed from the start, it's like you grew up on Jump Street, from jump street!
But if I could just get my head out my ass
I could accomplish any task, practicin trash
talkin in a trance, locked in my room yeah, but I got some plans momma
These damn rhymes are fallin out of my pants pocket, I can't stop it!
And I'm startin to blend in more, in school this shit helps for sure
I'm gettin more self-assured than I've ever been before
Plus no one picks on me anymore
I done put a stop to that, threw my first punch, end of story
Still in my skull's a vacant empty void, been usin it more as a bin for storage
Take some inventory, in this gourd
there's a Ford engine, door hinge, syringe, an orange, an extension cord, and a ninja sword
Not to mention four linchpins, an astringent stored
Ironin board, a bench, a wrench, a ore, winch, an attention whore
Everything but a brain, but dome's off the fuckin chain, like an independent store
Something's wrong with my head
Just think if I had a brain in it, thank God that I don't
cause I'd probably be Dahmer - cause momma always said!


Now my mom, goes wamp-wamp-wamp
Cause I'm not that smart, but I'm not dumb
I was on the bottom of the pile gettin stomped
But somehow, I came out on top (ohh-ooh-ohh)

I told you one day, I said they'd have that red carpet rolled out, yo
I'm nice y'all, fuck it I'm out cold
Now everywhere I go they scream out "Go!" I'm 'bout to clean house, yo
I'm Lysol, now I'm just household
Out-sold the sell-outs, freak the hell out, Middle America hear 'em yell out
in terror they were so scared
And those kids, just about, belted out, whatever spouted or fell out
my smart-aleck mouth, it was so weird
Inappropriate, so be it, I don't see it
Maybe one day when the smoke clears, it won't be as
motherfuckin, difficult yeah, 'til then hopefully ya
little homos get over your fears and phobias
It's okay to be scared straight, they said I provoked queers
'til emotions evoke tears, my whole career's
a stroke of sheer genius, smoke and mirrors, tactical practical jokes yeah
You motherfuckin ("Insert insult here")
Who the fuck would've thunk that one little ol' MC'd
be able to take the whole culture and re-upholstery it?
And boy they did flock, can't believe this little hick locked
this hip-hop shit in his hip pocket and still the shit got
that white trash traffic in gridlock, shit hoppin like six blocks
from a Kid Rock/Insane Clown Posse concert in mid Oc-
-tober, and God forbid I 
see the Wizard and get a brain in my titanium cranium y'all cause
I'll turn into the Unabomber - momma always said!


"Insaneness" ain't even a word you stupid fuck
Neither is "ain't"