Artist: Devo Spice
Album:  Gnome Sane?
Song:   I'm Not Your Personal IT Guy
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash

[Intro/Chorus: repeat 4X]
Click on help, call someone else
Or figure out how to freakin Google it yourself!

[Devo Spice]
I'm not your damn personal IT guy
I get no peace, but at least now I see why
You ask me about computers, apparently I'm
the only person who knows how to turn the damn things on
Oh look, you can't configure your Outlook again
WELL maybe you should write the settings down, my friend
But that might require a little effort from you
And Mr. Big Shot has more important things to do
It's fine if I have to explain it one time
But we're at number twenty-nine and I'm losin my mind
So I'll just drop everything, deadlines be damned
and explain again though I know you'll never understand
Close all of those windows, let's begin
Click on this, click on that, now put your password in
See, you don't need to be a total wiz
No, I don't know what your password is~!!

[Chorus]

[Devo Spice]
Why are your problems automatically mine?
No, it's fine, I've nothing better to do with my time
But it's not like I ask you every day for help
when I make a dookie and I can't wipe myself
So what were you trying to do when the error appeared?
Then I curse, cause it's even worse than I feared
I see your PC is an ancient jalopy
And you're trying to copy a DVD onto a floppy
First of all, where'd you even get a floppy disk?
Cause really, I didn't think those things still exist
Secondly, I don't want to be a spoil sport
but that's an ethernet cable, that's a USB port
If you buy somethin new and don't know how to hook it up
It doesn't make you less of a man to look it up
You claim you're not an idiot, well prove me wrong
And stop giving me more material for this song!!

[Chorus]

[Interlude]
{*phone ringing*}
Uhh, hello?
  Hey Tom, can I see you for a sec?
  I'm trying to get my iPhone to sync with my computer over the VPN
Uhh, I'm sorry I'm unable to take your call at the moment
But if you leave your name and # I'll get right back to you
BEEEP!

[Devo Spice]
It happens every day, and I can't get away
Cause they follow me around like a dog who wants to play
I know when my phone rings my day will be wrecked
When my boss says "Tom, can I see you for a sec?"
A second rapidly becomes an hour and a half
I would laugh, but I'm not part of the IT staff
So I don't know what I'm doing, I just click around and curse
and pray to various Gods that I don't make the problem worse
Funny how I said before this day was gonna drag
Now I'm workin quick cause his cologne is making me gag
He says I have to fix it and it can't wait 'til later
And somehow it's my fault he never backed up his data!
There's still a couple quirks and it's making me berzerker
Dammit Jim, I'm a Mac, not a miracle worker
And when I finally fix every problem he ever had
my uncle calls asking 'bout his son's Leap Pad

[Chorus]