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Artist: Devo Spice
Album:  Gnome Sane?
Song:   I Hate Mondays
Typed by: OHHLA Webmaster DJ Flash

Iiiiii can't get up right now
I don't feel good
Who the hell decided that morning needed to come so early?

[Chorus One]
That party last night was awfully crazy, I got so wasted
Now I'm hung over and threw up so much I can still taste it
Drink some coffee, pop some speed
Four days sleep is what I need
Passed out at five, got class at eight
Smash my alarm, I can not see straight
Man I hate Mondays

[Devo Spice]
I only got college for another three weeks
Trying to pass, I cheat off the geeks
For that to work I have to get to class
Which means, I really have to move my ass
So fill up my cup, coffee straight up
I drive in a daze like huh, who, what?
I make it to class, but don't feel great
A one hour class, I'm 50 minutes late
Got a pop quiz, don't know what the topic is
Gonna have to take it, guess I'll just fake it
I see the worried faces, all over the places
Pray to three Gods just to cover all the bases

[Chorus Two]
That party rocked, for three days straight we celebrated
Hell must've froze, I can't believe I graduated
My term paper wasn't great
GPA was one point eight
Got my degree, so I bid adieu
But now I'm late for an interview

Man I hate Mondays (HEY!)
I hate mornings (HEY!)
I hate showers (HEY!)
Man I hate Mondays

[Devo Spice]
I can't tell you what I learned in school
But, it didn't prepare me to become a tool
Um, there are things I never thought I'd do
like pay close attention to detail
And I can't check personal e-mail
And logic is never gonna prevail
Only two people here are female
And I think one might be a she-male
And my paycheck, nowhere near what I thought
Now I can't afford the TV I just bought
Out of tequila, beer, wine and rum too
Watching The Bachelor, is this what it's come to?

[Chorus Three]
That office party was awfully lame I wish I'd skipped it
Brown-nose the boss, so insincere, it sounded scripted
I cut my hair and shave my beard
And now it's me who thinks I look weird
Go home at eight, in bed by ten
Just watch the news, then do it again

Man I hate Mondays (HEY!)
I hate Tuesdays (HEY!)
I hate Wednesdays (HEY!)
Man I miss college

[Devo Spice]
Now, I'm gonna give you a taste
of what I go through on Monday mornings
A typical day, goes something like this
{*alarm clock beeps 8X*}

"Traffic on the 405 is at a total stand-still this morning
 as all lanes are closed in both directions due to an accident
 involving two tractor trailers, seven cars, an ice cream truck
 and the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile.
 Traffic is being rerouted onto surface streets
 but they're moving about as fast as an old lady
 in the express lane paying with a check."

Coffee! {*4X*} Sittin in traffic! {*4X*}

Dammit, I'm late again
I hope my boss doesn't see... hey tood morning, sir!
No, I've been here for 20 minutes
I just had to go get something out of my car
Yes, with my briefcase
I don't go anywhere without it
No, not even the bathroom

[Chorus Four]
That office meeting we had left me permanently scarred
PowerPoint slides with cheesy graphics and crappy clip art
Was ill-prepared and underdressed
And there weren't no donuts left
Pro-active this, synergy that
Then something 'bout wearin different hats
Man I hate Mondays

But after a few days of that, it's the weekend~!
You know what that means?
It means I get to cut the grass
clean out the gutters, and take the kids to soccer
Do I really have to make the bed?
Why can't I just leave it like that?